Getting negative feedback isn’t easy, but it’s nearly always important. The next time you get constructive criticism, use these tips to handle it with grace.
I’ve always admired people who can accept feedback calmly and thoughtfully, without taking it personally. They seem to listen, reflect, and move forward—while the rest of us are still learning how to take a deep breath and not react too quickly.
It seems I was not born with that realistic trait, and throughout my teaching career, I’ve struggled quite a bit with receiving feedback, even when it was entirely my side. The moment I hear the feedback, my heartbeat quickens, and my mind begins to race with many sides. My mind immediately goes on the defensive—first treating it like a personal attack, and then scrambling to come up with a response to justify what I did.
And I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who feels this way.
Unfortunately, in moments of heightened emotion, many individuals respond to feedback with defensiveness or anger, and in some cases, may even direct that frustration toward the person providing it. However, this reaction must be overcome. Constructive criticism is inherently valuable; without it, we would struggle to identify our weaknesses, strengthen professional relationships, or achieve sustained success in our personal and professional lives.
So how do we learn to step back from our defensive instincts? The next time you receive constructive criticism from a manager or a colleague, try to pause and approach the moment with openness. Following a simple six-step process can help you handle the situation with greater tact, self-awareness, and grace.
1. Stop Your First Reaction
When criticism is presented to you, or when the first hint of criticism appears, stop—definitely stop—before giving any reaction. Stopping is truly essential. Try not to react at all. Take the first few seconds to understand the situation. You may give non-verbal facial expressions, but you must remain calm. Facing it directly, you should say, “I implemented the previous task, for which I am receiving criticism, from a scientific perspective.” But remember the other side: if a fever is not cured immediately, it becomes more difficult to treat later on.
2. Remember the Benefit of Getting Feedback
I believe you may already be aware of what I am trying to say here. I want to remind you of the benefits of accepting constructive criticism—such as the excellence of one’s own skills, improvement in performance, strengthening of relationships, and helping to fulfill the expectations that others have.
Along with this, by examining the immediate reaction you have toward the person giving and receiving feedback, you can understand where you stand. Accurate and constructive feedback can often come even from flawed performance. However, it is often seen that negative feedback occurs due to the deterioration of interpersonal relationships. Or, sometimes, it also arises from fear and anxiety.
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